Tag: communication

Relationship between good communication and shared meaning

Everyday we are encouraged to communicate and cultivate a culture of good interactions through proper communication but what is communication? How do we ensure we are having good communication habits?

An image of people having a conversation. Communication is important aspect of any interactions. Photo/ Courtesy

So, what do you understand by the word communication? Communication is the process of intentionally conveying information using a certain medium which can range from word of mouth, writing, gesture or electronically. For communication to be complete there must be a shared meaning between the sender and the receiver.

Shared meaning can be described as a situation where the recipient of the information attaches the same meaning as the one the sender intended. It is important to note that sometimes a shared meaning may not be achieved right away and therefore further clarification is needed.

Having a shared meaning is important in situations like ;

  • When one is giving out instructions
  • During learning especially in schools
  • When passing information to an audience

Here are 5 factors that may affect how a message is interpreted. They include;

1. Environment where communication is taking place

Environment is the surroundings of an individual. This can be in the bedroom, outdoors or even at a bar. Interpretation of a message varies depending on the surrounding with which it happens.

For example ” You are beautiful ” can be interpreted as flirting in a bedroom setting but can also mean a compliment in a workplace or in a event.

Note how the meaning changes? If one is not clear then there is prone to be a communication disconnect.

2. Type of relationship existing between the sender and receiver

Relationship between the people communicating is important because it determines the choice of words and the tone to be used.

For instance like ” don’t be silly ” . Such a comment between people who are close can be interpreted as playful but the same words in an official setting can be seen as disrespect.

To avoid any confusion and ensure that one is not misinterpreted, the relationship status should be considered to ensure that there is a shared meaning.

3. Emotional state of the receiver

Sometimes knowing when to communicate is important to avoid misinterpretation. Emotional state of the receiver will affect how they will perceive some information and sometimes this may cause them to distort the intended meaning of the information.

For example, when one is angry prolonged silence while they are talking can be interpreted as a sign of not caring or one is guilty and does not know how to defend themselves. But in a calm emotional state silence can be interpreted as good listening.

Determining the state at which the receiver is at emotionally will ensure that one is careful with the choice of words and tone to avoid being misinterpreted.

4. Language used

Language to be used during a communication process is key. This is because it affects the understanding of the message. If the receiver does not understand the language used to convey the message then there will be no shared meaning.

For instance, a leader goes to a very remote village where they barely speak English and starts addressing them in advanced English. This forces them to assign meaning to the words depending on how they understand them which may not be the intended meaning.

This is a very good instance of communication disconnect caused by lack of a common language that will enable both the sender and receiver to be in a common understanding regarding the information being passed across.

5. Cultural background

Knowing the cultural background of the audience is very important. This is because you will know how to bridge the differences in meaning assigned to a word.

For example the word ” Wagon ” in the U.S means a wooden vehicle that is pulled by a mule or a horse but the same word in Ireland means unpleasant woman.

As you can see the information may be misinterpreted just by a variation in meaning of a word in different cultures. In this situation, the sender can decide to be specific by providing an explanation where necessary or avoid the word completely.

We can see how shared meaning plays a vital role in communication. Lack of shared meaning has often led to conflicts and poor performance especially in a situation where employees or students do not understand instructions very well.

You are just but a back up plan

We always feel the desire to be loved by those we love and often don’t get the same energy back. Could it be you are just a plan B or you are too ambitious in your expectations.

People love differently but sometimes it is so obvious you are not that important to them as you would want to be. Even though some people are poor in expressing how they actually feel, that should never be an excuse for inducing anxiety on your partner.

The conflicting emotions you are feeling are indicators you are not satisfied with what you are getting from your partner. Your mind is always wondering why can’t he/she just give me the little attention I need and frequently a thought pops in your mind to just move on but your heart won’t let you leave in peace.

Let me tell you for free, if they love you your soul will know automatically. That girl who always texts you when they are in need, does not care about you. You are just a person they run to when they can’t get what they want from their actual boyfriend’s. For how long will you be a hero saving someone’s lover? They only entertain you when they are not in good terms with their boyfriend. Wake up!

Baby girl you have been made to believe he doesn’t like calls and chatting, You are always the first to text. Trust me he texts his girl every time and calls more often than he can control himself. As for you your message has been ignored since morning because he is too “busy”. I don’t know what other red flag you are waiting for before you realize you are just a back up if not a fling.

I know you are asking yourself how will I know if I fall under the plan B category, well just trust your instincts. If the energy does not feel right, you have your answer. You are never the first to know about their achievements if not their plans. Communication with them will always feel forced and often you are the one speaking while they just respond but will not put effort to mantain the conversation.

Now that you know you are not first choice, what can you do about it? Well, some will choose to stay and fight for the first spot. The question is, do you have the energy to break all the barriers before you? Are you careful enough not to destroy yourself in the process? What if you never get there?

Advice I would give myself is, why waste your time and energy breaking a wall while there is a door? There is someone out there waiting to have you and make you the centre of their universe. Defend yourself.

Speak up no one is a mind reader

It is so annoying to lose contact with people we were attached to simply because they never pointed out what they actually needed. There is nothing as hard as figuring out what you might have done to lose them.

Your relationship or marriage is in the verge of collapsing just because you don’t say what you actually feel or want. Constant fights with your partner has become a norm and trust me one person is clueless of what is actually happening. Men have been victims for a very long time. We put too much pressure on them to figure out what the lady wants or else there will be no peace. Come on, he is not a mind reader if you want something just ask.

You feel wronged by a friend, instead of holding grudges why not talk about it? Maybe it’s just a misunderstanding. Why harbor hate over something that can be solved? True friendships are hard to come by now days treasure it. People make mistakes and should be given a chance to redeem themselves especially if they were not aware they wronged you.

Family is very important but since we nolonger take time to talk about issues that led to conflicts we ghost each other. No one is perfect, your parents may have unknowingly done something that made you unhappy but since you don’t want to talk about it the bond is broken. You will hear someone say they hate their mother because of what she did to them while they were young. Come to think of it, she may not remember that or even know the impact her actions had on you. It will not cost you anything to talk to her about it.

Neighbors nolonger live in harmony because hatred has build up over time. Your clueless neighbor is wondering why you nolonger say hello when you meet reason being you heard they gossiped about you. Why not approach them and get facts it will bring closure on what really transpired.

Communication is key in everything we do. Once in a while we are bound to make mistakes whether knowingly or unknowingly. Learning to speak up will save us the trouble of hating people we love and holding grudges over minor issues. Carrying a heavy heart is one of the hardest burden to carry.

Toxicity: 8 Signs you are in a toxic relationship

Relationships are meant to be enjoyable and fun but in a situation where you find out you don’t find joy or constantly under stress, then there is a problem.
They say ‘love is blind’ but when you become aware of your environment and understand the Dynamics of a healthy relationship, it is not that hard to spot an abnormality.

This article will point out a few common pointers of a toxic relationship.

8 signs you are in a toxic relationship

1. Constant suspicion and mistrust

It is normal to experience jealousy in a relationship but it becomes a problem when it gets to the extreme. This can stem from the fact that your partner is a ‘serial cheater’ so one is constantly worrying that he/she is cheating consequently leading to mistrust.

2. Poor communication

Good communication is the connerstone of any relationship. Couples should be able to speak freely about any issue without fear. In a toxic relationship one is always careful and would often avoid difficult issues because their partner will not take it well.

3. Controlling behaviors

They would always want to know where you are or what you are doing at all times. It may seem romantic at first but it gets to a point you nolonger do anything without seeking permission. Victims always end up being prisoners to a toxic individual.

4. Ignoring your needs

Everyone has needs whether emotional, physical or financial. In a toxic relationship, you will find that your needs are not given any attention as it is deemed irrelevant. For example you would wish to go for a vacation but he suggests you go to his/her friends for a party because that is what they need.

5. Low self esteem

This often arises from the fact that your partner is constantly critizing everything about you. From your mode of dressing, body shape or even your opinions and thoughts.

6. Constant conflicts

Conflicts are common in relationships but in a situation where you just cannot seem to talk about anything without arguing even just what to eat for lunch, that is unhealthy. You are never on the same page on anything.

7. Disrespect

This can range from shouting at you when in public to ridiculing you in private. Respect is very important in a relationship as it determines how your partner will treat you. Without respect they can even slap you in front of your friends without an apparent reason.

8. Physical abuse

No matter the situation physical abuse is never to be tolerated in any relationship. The abuse usually starts small and then escalate to thorough beatings that sometimes lead to death. If your partner can afford to physically assault you then that is not a healthy relationship.

It should be noted that when someone finds such issues in a relationship they should discuss it with there partner and find a solution but in a situation that nothing is changing just walk away.