Tag: feelings

Don’t kill me, Just walk away

Relationships has always been part and parcel of our lives and the most common one is romantic relationships. We are all guilty of wanting to be loved and appreciated but what happens if that love fades away?

Photo/ courtesy

At the beginning of any relationship, the love is top notch you cannot get enough of each other. Distance does not prevent you from talking to each other thanks to the availability of phones. Conversations happen till wee hours of the night and you sleep happy.

The main agenda is how to have a future together, because you feel like finally you have found the perfect match. The topic on the number of children you both desire to have never misses in those conversations. At that stage, love is beautiful, you feel satisfied and thank God for giving you your partner.

Months go by fast and you start to notice some changes. You nolonger talk for long hours, they seem distant and they don’t give you the royal treatment anymore. You decide to ignore because you have come too far to give up but things start getting out of hand. They yell at you on slight provocation.

Everytime they shout at you, they kill your joy. You are nolonger happy like before because you feel bad about the situation. In some instances they are violent and hit you over a small misunderstanding but they apologize later and make you feel that they did not mean it, you provoked them. Slowly by slowly the situation escalates and you are trapped.

They kill you slowly by slowly. They don’t want to let you go but they don’t want to treat you right. Your mental health has deteriorated and you are just a shell of your previous self. Its safe to say that you are a walking corpse. They have managed to squeeze the life out of you.

Worse still, the violence has matured to full blown fight between life and death. They nolonger care if you die. Your body is full of bruises that remind you how you are unwanted. You feel that they enjoy tormenting you and watching you fade away slowly. Sadly, they don’t want to let you go.

It is sad to see people suffer in the hands of people they once trusted with their lives. That one person who made them feel safe. If you are not interested in someone anymore just walk away, don’t kill them physically or mentally. When the spark has faded away, leave them intact when they still have life left in them.

Do we really move on?

We are all familiar with the feelings that come with parting ways with someone we wanted to spend a lifetime with. The emotional turmoil experienced can’t be described.We eventually reach a place we can describe as healing but do we really “unlove” them completely?

What if we never forget about them the way we would want to? What if our lives change forever? We can’t deny the fact that they will always influence our future choices in one way or another especially when it comes to subsequent relationships.

We have witnessed people who separated for years getting back together no matter how nasty the break up. This scenerio has me wonder, what is that force that kept them from drifting away for good? Is there something about romantic relationships that we have yet to discover? In some instances people have continued to have secret affairs with their ex partners.

We can’t deny that sometimes we experience jealousy that comes with finding out your ex is doing good with someone else despite the fact that you yourself already moved on. Some may argue that it’s the memories they shared that binds them together but according to my understanding you can have better memories with someone else but still have your Ex in mind. What is that aspect of your previous relationship you can’t let go?

That awkward feeling you experience when you find yourself in the same place with someone you dated is unexplainable. One will be so anxious and uncomfortable the entire time for no reason. Most people prefer to maintain physical distance even if it means relocating to somewhere far as long as they never cross paths.

Whether we like it or not, we will always have a soft spot for someone we once had a romantic relationship with even though sometimes we mask it with hatred depending on what transpired. Fragments of love we once had for them will live in our hearts whether we like it or not.

Who is a narcissist? 5 signs you are dating one

A narcissist is a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves according to Oxford dictionary. Personality qualities include thinking very highly of oneself, needing admiration, believing others are inferior and lacking empathy for others

5 Signs you are dating a narcissist

1.They are very charming when you first meet. Your relationship at first feels like a fairy tale, everything is perfect. He/she makes you feel special by complimenting everything about you.If someone cames on too strong at the beginning of a relationship, be cautious. Being lusted feels good but genuine love has to be nurtured and grown overtime.

2. They lack empathy. Empathy is the ability of one to put themselves in your shoes and try to understand how you actually feel. Narcissist lack this quality and often never pay much attention to how the other person feels. In a situation where they offend you, they never apologize because they don’t understand how much their action affects you. This also makes it difficult for them to take responsibility for their own behavior.

3. They rarely have close friends. It is common for people with narcissistic traits to have frequent conflicts with others.They are very jealous and possessive and would get angry if you hang out with your friends consequently causing you to abandon your friends and end up lonely.

4. They often gaslight you.This is a psychological manipulation into doubting ones own sanity. Often narcissists seek to gain power and control youby distorting reality and forcing you to question your own judgment and intuition. They would abuse you and twist things to make appear that you are too sensitive.

5. Constantly pick on you. It begins as a tease but later escalates to saying mean things to make you feel bad about yourself. He/she will criticize how you dress or your reasoning so as to make you feel inferior. By doing so they feel powerful at your expense.