Tag: dating

Don’t kill me, Just walk away

Relationships has always been part and parcel of our lives and the most common one is romantic relationships. We are all guilty of wanting to be loved and appreciated but what happens if that love fades away?

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At the beginning of any relationship, the love is top notch you cannot get enough of each other. Distance does not prevent you from talking to each other thanks to the availability of phones. Conversations happen till wee hours of the night and you sleep happy.

The main agenda is how to have a future together, because you feel like finally you have found the perfect match. The topic on the number of children you both desire to have never misses in those conversations. At that stage, love is beautiful, you feel satisfied and thank God for giving you your partner.

Months go by fast and you start to notice some changes. You nolonger talk for long hours, they seem distant and they don’t give you the royal treatment anymore. You decide to ignore because you have come too far to give up but things start getting out of hand. They yell at you on slight provocation.

Everytime they shout at you, they kill your joy. You are nolonger happy like before because you feel bad about the situation. In some instances they are violent and hit you over a small misunderstanding but they apologize later and make you feel that they did not mean it, you provoked them. Slowly by slowly the situation escalates and you are trapped.

They kill you slowly by slowly. They don’t want to let you go but they don’t want to treat you right. Your mental health has deteriorated and you are just a shell of your previous self. Its safe to say that you are a walking corpse. They have managed to squeeze the life out of you.

Worse still, the violence has matured to full blown fight between life and death. They nolonger care if you die. Your body is full of bruises that remind you how you are unwanted. You feel that they enjoy tormenting you and watching you fade away slowly. Sadly, they don’t want to let you go.

It is sad to see people suffer in the hands of people they once trusted with their lives. That one person who made them feel safe. If you are not interested in someone anymore just walk away, don’t kill them physically or mentally. When the spark has faded away, leave them intact when they still have life left in them.

Do we really move on?

We are all familiar with the feelings that come with parting ways with someone we wanted to spend a lifetime with. The emotional turmoil experienced can’t be described.We eventually reach a place we can describe as healing but do we really “unlove” them completely?

What if we never forget about them the way we would want to? What if our lives change forever? We can’t deny the fact that they will always influence our future choices in one way or another especially when it comes to subsequent relationships.

We have witnessed people who separated for years getting back together no matter how nasty the break up. This scenerio has me wonder, what is that force that kept them from drifting away for good? Is there something about romantic relationships that we have yet to discover? In some instances people have continued to have secret affairs with their ex partners.

We can’t deny that sometimes we experience jealousy that comes with finding out your ex is doing good with someone else despite the fact that you yourself already moved on. Some may argue that it’s the memories they shared that binds them together but according to my understanding you can have better memories with someone else but still have your Ex in mind. What is that aspect of your previous relationship you can’t let go?

That awkward feeling you experience when you find yourself in the same place with someone you dated is unexplainable. One will be so anxious and uncomfortable the entire time for no reason. Most people prefer to maintain physical distance even if it means relocating to somewhere far as long as they never cross paths.

Whether we like it or not, we will always have a soft spot for someone we once had a romantic relationship with even though sometimes we mask it with hatred depending on what transpired. Fragments of love we once had for them will live in our hearts whether we like it or not.

Your relationship is okay too much expectations is killing it

When you encounter someone new and you instantly like them, our minds will automatically think of how it would feel like to be in a relationship with them. we already have a predetermined visualization of how we expect them to behave and treat us. But have you ever taken a moment and thought of how we put too much expectations into a relationship and when the reality hits us we are in shock.

Why can’t people just go with the flow? Live one moment at a time without overburdening someone with standards we already set for ourselves. You will hear someone say “I only date men with money” sister wait, who told you he is willing to give it to you? You go ahead and find a guy who has already worked hard for his money then you start getting mad if he doesn’t give it to you when you want. He doesn’t owe you anything, it’s your expectations driving you nuts.

Relationships are meant to be fun and enjoyable but since we cannot drop too much expectations, we end up constantly fighting and feeling miserable. Ask yourself how it would be if we let people love us the best way they know how. Just have a blank mind and rewrite what you want in that relationship based on your experiences with your current boyfriend or girlfriend.

All relationships are different and it should never be compared. Just because your friend received a car for a birthday gift from the partner and you only got a dinner date, it does not mean you are not valued. Comparing relationship is what leads to too much expectations and consequently draining the life out of a relationship that was once healthy and promising.

We all have a life, different goals, targets and plans for our lives. The fact that we are dating does not give you the audacity to bring my life to a standstill. Our goals may not align but we can let each other grow without having to breath down each other’s neck over issues that may not make sense. I missed your call because I was at work chasing my career and that is something you already knew but since you cannot understand that, we end up arguing because according to you that should not have happened.

Knowing what to expect from a relationship is good but too much of something is poisonous. Let’s just live life and enjoy every bit because tomorrow is not promised. Get into relationships with an open mind and curve out what we want. Too much expectations is what is ruining your relationship and if care is not taken sooner or later there will be nothing left to salvage.